I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
