thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
