Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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