i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
did i walk over a car last night?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize