She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
