Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
