Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
