When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
