so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
