is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
