My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
