I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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