Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
