I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Drake has all the answers
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
