Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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