i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
