I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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