Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize