I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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