This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
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Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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