Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
