I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
