Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
