I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
