u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
