I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize