Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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