these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
