we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
whose ass print is on the piano?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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