to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His nipple licking is glorious
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