I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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