happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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