is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
