You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
