Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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