i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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