trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
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Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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