I wish I could teleport
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
