It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
