Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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