Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
