in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
