dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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