it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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