WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am naked and annoyed.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
