Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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