do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
