Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He passed out mid-signature
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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