just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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