the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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