capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
