She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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