Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
