Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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