Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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