It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
