How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
