We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
